So much for actually hoping for something good, huh? Well, I'll just come out and say this ... I did badly for all my tests. As in like REALLY, LITERALLY failed. Such a downer, right. I'm cursed, doomed to fail. Well, I realised that I'm not gonna say that just to make me feel comforted. The real reson was that I studied the textbook but I guess in the end, I didn't really understand it. I came up with my theories to make myself belive everything. Yeah, my appications weren't there. Then why the hell did everybody do so damned bloody better than me? Well, I don't really have the answer but the thing is that I guess I'm taking a longer time to get used to everything. Nevermind. I know that I'm saying this and frankly, I haven't gotten over it but I kow I will ... soon. After that, I'm gonna give it all I can and even then, if I fail ... well, I'd rather not think of that yet. I've totally embarrased myself and I actually felt like vomitting after looking at my marks ... yes, it was that bad. Oh and I everybody gave me the look of pity. Ironically, that actually made me feel a lot worse. I don't know ... if people said that I was stupid and everything I would have been mad and if people comforted me because they pitied me, then they made me feel worse so it goes badly both ways. Oh and then there was the group who said it was okay. Yeah, first test and everything but honestly, I don't think its okay. I guess I was so bumped out about everything because this time, I really studied and when I say studied, I really mean studied. I had started much earlier and so I was quite surprised by everything. Well, it's going to be okay, I hope. However, right now, I don't really wanna get back my Physics and SS 'cos I just don't wanna fail anymore, ya know. I guess in cases like these, a little knowledge is safe ... oh wells. Nevermind about that. Let's talk about orathorical. It was my first time and I was really nervous at the beginning but towards the end, I sorta got comfortable with everything and so that was good. Oh and no one, well, not much people laughed at my joke. Okay, no comments about that. Let's just forget it, shall we? (just so you know, it wasn't really me *cough*) Yeah, so by a twist of fate, I might have gotten in but everything hasn't been going my way so I don't hope for this to. Okay, I'm like having a split personality disorder right now. I'm both positive and negtive. Well, it's mostly negative but the positive of me keeps comin out to make me feel better and try to get over this whole thing as soon as pssible 'cos frankly, I can't wait to get started on studying. Yeap. So I gotta go have my dinner now ... guess I'll take my leave.